I have decided that… I am being tested. If I feel this way about this guy… then that means that me and greg are not supposed to be together. I knew before but this gives me… more incentive… like maybe there is another chance for happiness out there. Its not about leaving greg for someone else… its about leaving greg… and building a real “relationship” on trust and openness. If it doesn’t work oh well I took a chance.
On a better note. Today was SOOOOOO much better than I had hoped… yes I am completely glad I didn’t back out. Lord have mercy those hands! Ugh he has the most amazing hands.. :) and smile, and eyes, I am seeing them EVERYWHERE! I close my eyes to blink and bam there they are looking back at me for a split second. NOT OBSESSED. Just extremely giddy and happy about the way I feel right now. I didn’t want to leave… I saw him geek out and he saw me geek out and he just laughed… he didnt tell me I was being stupid or that I didn’t need dessert… he just accepted my little weird quirks as if there is nothing wrong with me.
God’s working… not exactly how I pictured but beggars cant be choosers. Although I am very happy at how it is being done because he is a good man, with a good heart, and good faith. And if everyday is just like today… <3